Not my birthday celebration today but my poly friend. I had dinner with my close poly friend, another one whom I knew her quite a period of time (she is the birthday girl today!! ) and another guy I barely know. Sometimes I feel a little awkward chatting tgt bcos I dun know how to get myself high with a group of ppl (just a small grp). Plus there is a new guy celebrating with us. Actually he has been friend with my friend since sec sch days so it's okay for them.
Throughout the whole time I feel so stiff. Becos I couldnt understand what they r talking abt n I'm not confident in bringing in a happy atmosphere. So I just sat there being quiet or like asked them something. All the time the smile and laughter I showed them are not natural (somehow I just cant relax n laugh out loud. It's feel weird ), except home. But I really hope to see them happy. Then we went to fish n Co. To celebrate her birthday (yay I have nvr been there before!!! )
I was still shy even at the dinner table. I only went "ooh" or laugh a little when my friend told me stories. Except for the part when we wanted to ask the staff for birthday celebration. I got high to keep reminding them to ask haha! Afterward both the guy n my close friend kept laughing .out loud, except me trying to laugh out naturally but just couldnt made it. Then the guy told us "we laughed like crazy, u just laughed a little " hahas I dun know what to reply so I kept quiet .again.
Nevertheless, I feel happy eating with them. They knew it's my first time n then they asked me if I wanna.go their outing the next time. I cant believe they inviting me! They r really friendly T^T
What's so strange is that i became really happy after we came out fish n Co. And I told them that today is such as unforgettable day ~
Sometimes I'm really afraid of ppl judging me if I'm a fun person. Because I dun often get high n energetic. Im usually more quiet. I only get high at some random moment or when I feel like. I cant talk naturally like how I talk to my siblings. It's just different ><
(another surprising thing is they said I'm a daring person o.o wuts? )
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