27 August Though Post

Why people have to keep proving and showing others that they can do well... Why can't they just lay back and enjoy the process...

Why can't everyone be nice and stop comparing themselves with others...

I am one of the people that compared to others as well, but definitely I have my own belief that I will do well within my own pace.

I would rather believe in myself than anyone else in the world... 

I am sure I will find people that fall as the same pace as me and not risking myself to push so much hardship just to get that stupid recognition.

Life is all about learning together and get tougher together but why is it that they are so cold... Even if one fall behind, they should support and encourage him or her, even if they themselves are already far ahead... This society is just too independent...

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And I don't have to be cruel and cold to others to show that I can fight for myself or stand up for myself.

I could be soft-hearted... but I would rather believe in not suffering with guilt, than being self-centered... I could be at times get exploited or make use ... but I have never regret having that soft-heart of mine. Because, if it weren't for this, I would never have met the people and become friends... and gained meaningful lesson from the tough experience and sadness. 

Of course, at times, because of such crucial decision needed to make in order to change our own life better, being hard is necessary. But, I would not let myself take over by the selfish and hard-hearted side of me. Once awhile will do. To be a little thick-faced and an asshole. 

I have my own way of standing up for myself, probably the soft and quiet way of doing it. I would not show my attitude of standing up for myself, but definitely I am using actions and result to prove it. 

My nature is not that as aggressive as others. So stop saying as if you know me... 

24 August Sad Thought Post....

So sad thought that I could at least share my gaming woes with this person. But in the end he just completely ignored it... and continued on with the other conversation. :( For so long, it was only me playing alone and solo, and now when I feel comfortable to share with someone, it turns out that he would ignore it...

Really break my heart and the friendship trust. All the number of days chatting non-stop and enjoying chatting randomly. Now when I need a listening ear and attention, I realised I couldn't rely on him...

What I thought that he is such a nice friend turned out to me that he is just like any other. Claiming that he is a listener but when it turned to something he is not interested in, he stop listening. At the least he could have done, is to listen my gaming woes...

Even when the topic or stuff that you said turned me off, I still spend the energy to really listen... Otherwise why you would feel the conversation is so engrossed. All these are two-way stuff... idiot...

You can't expect every person to be perfect in order to be your talking buddy...

Probably it's karma that your friends not listening to what you said.

What kind of person you are made the same kinds of friend you are with.

I have seen guys my age are still able to make and keep in touch with gaming friends, but I have none... I am just only a casual player. Why can't I be one of them. To have friends that I can game with and skype... Complain, share and help one another. I have always been friendly in real life.. even when I start to know some gaming people, it turned out we played a different game. None of them play my favourite game...

True, I could have played their game to join in the fun, and bond. I had no problem. But what I really wish is to have a group of friends playing my favourite game. Chat and share, discuss or even argue so intensely. Even a single friend is also suffice. I can't force to play game that they are not interested, but at least they could just listen...

You claimed you are so free... but in fact, you are only free with the stuff that you want. I had so much hope and reliant on you but now you disappoint me...

I guess there is no point for me to invest so much time in talking to you anyway... It's not worth it. I will continue to be friend but I won't be so devoted in nurturing this friendship... And also not going to entertain your boredom so often...

You reap what you sow... bastard...

Hate you for being such a cold bastard. You have so many friends and circle, but serve you rights for not able to find the right one you can confide in and close with... 

22 August 2015 Recording thought post...

Finally learnt something out from chord progression on my piano.

But it was a SLOW SLOW SLOW learning progression -.- so much that I wonder if it is possible for a non-talent to make out their own progression. 

After spending 4 hours of fiddling around random keys and notes... I decided to choose a Cmajor chord. 

Not sure if this is the right way, i create a few block chord out from my left hand and play consecutively to find out if it sound nice with different random chord progression... It was easy based on the years of playing piano and common chords that appeared commonly in many music sheet...

But for melody part, it was harder... Without any inspiration or a vague melody played in my mind, I couldn't formed a melody out plainly from touching the piano... And furthermore, Cmajor do not have interesting scales or notes as compared to the rest of the keys, although it is the simplest among all. 

I tried out with other major keys with sharp but it was even harder to think out of a nice melody... It was mentally exhausting, as if I was not meant to compose music out... 

But at the end of the day, I managed to compose a short short music out with a few bars only. 

And my first music created out, I named it as "Sunrise Again"! 

Why Sunrise? Maybe C major do has a beginning kind of sound and the melody itself has an ease and smooth aura sound... (just maybe ><) whyAgain? Cos the melody itself has a obvious repeating patterns... haha

Going back, for the melody part I tried to make a pattern that it is a third apart and to make it simple and straightforward. Because of that, the whole song sound a little common or uninteresting haha... then based on the chords I created out from left hand, I progressed the previous melody to the next... and lastly not forgetting the last part... to make melody sound like a cadence.

Okay, finally, for the last touch, I repeat all the melody and chords and wrote it down on the piece of paper. Then I wrote down the chords down for each note along with roman numbers. 

Surprisingly, the pattern of the roman numbers are aligned with the one that are listed as the acceptable chord progression, with cadence ended on IV-I. It was nice! :)

Hope my next step in learning chord progression and melody will be more interesting and able to take on new key as well. Probably my weakness right now is thinking out a melody. And hope that there is a method to overcome it :( 

And to prove to them that I could be a useful part of keyboardist in the band ! >:)

*will upload my first composed music soon* ^^

"Music isn't about competition"